Out with the Old, In with the New

And just like that, the year that was had vanished into thin air. The last remnants of the false Christmas cheer was slowly starting to disappear as the days went on. But if that season had been torture for its insistent reminder that I was newly single, then the next festivity was sure to twist the knife already buried in my heart. I am talking, of course, of Valentine's Day. It's six weeks from now I know, but with the slow pace dating Nico had taken, I was certain that I was still going to be single by then. But there was hope for me yet. Enter Lyndon, Nico's friend.

Two days before the New Year, Nico brought me to the year-end party of his Guys4Men group. The gesture was sweet, implying that he was proud to be dating me and was not embarrassed to introduce me to his friends. Definitely a good sign. When we arrived at the resort I was happy to discover that their group was inclusive, not like the ones that did screenings to weed out those that weren't “straight-acting” and “discreet”. Nico's group represented the full spectrum of gayness, from graciously aging queens to nearly-prepubescent dinglets, as well as everyone else who fell in between these two extremes.

We all had pink name tags on, our Guys4Men account names displayed for everyone to see and possibly take note. The group rented the resort for themselves, and after the brief socials where everyone was introduced to everyone else, a few naughty parlor games were played, and we all enjoyed plates of sweet spaghetti and sticks of barbecue, everyone gravitated towards the pool, which immediately became the center of flirting and cavorting. Others gathered around the videoke machine, and the queue of songs immediately lengthened as everyone punched in their own set list.

Because I was with Nico, I could only occasionally glance at some of the guys who caught my fancy. I was especially smitten by Lyndon, who had this sexual magnetism that I, along with several others in attendance, couldn't seem to resist. He was glorious in his underwear; he had the same lean, tan body that my ex had when we were both 17. Nico had introduced us to each other, but aside from that briefest of interactions, he never glanced my way again, so I came to the conclusion that that was that.

Imagine my surprise when the day after the party I found a message from Lyndon in my Guys4Men inbox. He reminded me that we had met the day before, that he was Nico's friend, and upon leaving his phone number, that if I was interested I should give him a text. In my defense I was lonely, it's been a month since I last had sex, and did I mention that Lyndon was irresistible? So I hope that I won't be judged too harshly when I say that on that same day as I received his message, I opened my apartment to him and we had one of the most explosive sex I've ever had. With how pretty he was and how many must be after him, I thought he only came by for the sex, though of course I nurtured the hope that I could entice him with more than that. So the second surprise of the day was to hear him ask me out.

“But what about Nico? Isn't he your friend?” I asked.

“He doesn't have to know. Besides, you aren't together yet, right?” he answered.

As the night deepened and we had managed to have dinner and see a movie, I surmised that I was very much enjoying Lyndon's company and I knew I wanted more. Though the conversation wasn't as interesting as Nico's, because I was still euphoric from that sex we just had, the scales had definitely tipped in Lyndon's favor. So before that day ended, as the year was ending and we were about to usher a new one, I found myself with a new problem: how do I date two guys at the same time?

Nico had never said we were exclusively dating and Lyndon hadn't asked me to stop seeing Nico. I wasn't sure if Nico was dating other guys aside from me but I was sure that with Lyndon's looks he definitely was. My dilemma was whether or not to say anything to Nico about Lyndon, or if it was better to keep that information to myself for the time being. I didn't want to be dishonest, but I didn't want to hurt him too, and because I had never been in this situation before, I didn't know what I should do. It was an exciting feeling to be honest, a huge ego booster knowing that I had two guys showing an active interest in me, but I feared that it was going to get confusing too. Was it implied that dating someone isn't exclusive until I say it was so? Is dating like American Idol, where I audition several guys until I reach that point of no return where I had to pick a winner? But if it was, then why did I feel guilty about it? And if dating two guys was a huge ego booster, how would it feel if I dated more than two? But if I was confused now, won't that be even more confusing then?